Kasane [Chapter 95 - Woman With No Face]

In an inn at some rural area, a man heads upstairs with a towel. He passes by a long haired woman and tells her to take care... Then, he stares at her as she goes inside her room. The man talks with a janitress and says that no matter how he thinks about it but the guest staying at the Kumazasa room doesn’t seem like a tourist.

The janitress says that he also thinks that way but then, she came here for five days already... Sitting by the balcony, Kasane recites her lines, ‘...We, shooting stars, always believe that it is a kind of honor that we can beautifully sparkle until we die...

...But in such a dark ground, if I were to lose this radiance...what kind of life would I have lived [/no purpose]--’ Then, a boy playing soccer with his friends below glance up to Kasane. Kasane become tense upon seeing him that she quickly closes the balcony door.

The boy’s friend asks him what’s up. The boy says that just now, there is a woman who looks like a monster over there!! The friend says, monster!? Then he laughs. Kasane tightly hugs herself. After moping some more, Kasane stands up. Later, she leaves the inn with her luggage as the innkeeper thanks her patronage.

Kasane walks through the forest. Narration: “I already don’t know anymore. The ugly me doesn’t have any value of existing but even if I have a beautiful outer appearance--” She leaves her luggage by the tree and continues on walking. She looks up the starless night sky.

Narration: “As ‘Saki’, I attended the rehearsals during the day. After returning home, when I’m all alone, I’ll sit by the window side crying every night. From the start, I didn’t know why I’m crying. Perhaps, the truth is I obviously knew but I pretended not to know...

...While living as beautiful ‘Saki’, I should pass the days quite happily but not long after, the feeling of pain also followed. No matter as an actress or as a person, Saki’s assessment is becoming higher and higher. All the more I have this feeling of who is that far distant person.”

Kasane is looking at Saki and wonders why. “Obviously I’m the one who is standing and acting on the stage--” Scene changes to crying shooting star Saki looking stunned over the people applauding. “Afterwards, I cannot help but think, this applause, who is it for--”

Nina whispers to Kasane, “In the end, you are just a fake. No matter what identity, whether you are deeply loved or recognized[/praised because of your appearance], all of those things do not exist for you. No one can see you! No one knows you!”

Narration: “Nina... it is as you said. Then...who am I?” There is a scene of Nogiku saying that she isn’t human but simply a monster... Kasane trips over a tree root and falls down. She drops her flashlight.

She mutters, “Yes... Nogiku. I am a monster. Habuta-san, I cannot become the actress that you hoped for. Uno-san, we obviously deeply loved each other BUT YOU HAD NEVER SEEN MY FACE.”

Kasane is kneeling by the cliff. The moon is already hovering above the night sky. Kasane turns around and says, “...mama...we basically shouldn’t have been born. No matter what superficial fabrication we use to cover our appearance, the innate ugliness doesn’t change at all...

...*scene of Izana with the burning house behind her with the words ‘slaughter’ and ‘plunder’* This kind of greed will make me want [everything] like an ordinary person. *stands at the cliff with her shoes and flashlight put at the side*...

...No, compared to an ordinary person, I want something more radiant... *looks down to the sea waves below* It would be better to end it all. Because ...‘No matter what this body changes into, it is a fact that I am still me...

...*teary eyed as she looks at the shining moon reflecting on the dark sea* this won't ever change..!!” Then, she prepares to jump. Narration: “That time, in a span of few seconds...no, it is possible that a second hasn’t passed, my past memories of acting passed by like a slide projector [/running-horse lantern]—

Ah ah, that sound coming from the depths of my body [/heart]. Every single movement, a scowl, a smile, a look, one after another had become words [/language]. Whether it is the performers or the audience, they can jointly feel the life of the character role (other person) existing...

...Whether it is happiness or pain, whether it is real or fiction, the stage (that place) has everything. Even so much that it is a dreamland that no one has not yet experienced [/seen]! I...

...*recalls Iku tearfully asking, ‘Is it only up to that kind of degree!? For you, is acting [/drama] really that kind of thing which you can casually give up on!!* For me, acting is...!” Kasane recalls that fateful day when she and her mother clung on the log that is drifting on the raging river.

Izana tearfully told her, “Kasane-chan, no matter what happens, you definitely have to live on. Afterwards...” Izana continues to say something to young Kasane who looked surprised. End flashback. Kasane’s eyes are wide open. She looks towards the horizon. Narration: “In the midst of darkness, the reason why one should live, glimmer weakly.”

Comment: I like this chapter. From the start, I always have an impression that her mother is some sort of evil mother/ghost always pressuring her and everything but here, she has given Kasane the reason to live which is what Kasane needed at this time.

In this point in her life, Kasane still has no one that she has sunk so low to the point of wanting to end it all. Apparently, she is all confused that she doesn’t know who she is or rather, after everything, she isn’t recognized for herself but rather, the persona she was acting out.

Thankfully, she didn’t jump yet when all that flashbacks came running through her which made her remember why she really love theater acting. And of course, she finally recalled what her mother said before she passed away. So, aside from telling her to live on, did her mother tell her about the permanent switch? Scans by RAD汉化组

Quote of the day:

When you hit rock bottom, you have nowhere to go but up. ~ Pattie Mallette